May 2013
earthnation:
deodrant:
deodrant:
what do u put in a toaster
bread
this isnt even a joke
“Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is...”
– Rainer Maria Rilke, from The Book of Hours (via allegorys)
boy: shit baby you're so wet already
girl: that's actually just vaginal discharge and my body is cleansing itself from bacteria and dead cells to prevent infection and to maintain optimal reproductive health i'm not even all that turned on right now and i would prefer to go get some food or something
3 tags
boygrimlark:
scout-ebubbles:
docot:
freddybenson:
leovaldezstyle:
freddybenson:
A
B
C
the brazilian wandering spider’s venom can give you an erection lasting for hours
D
E
F
shakespeares-sisters:
i’m weird ok
but when i say i’m weird i don’t mean like your cute and quirky girlfriend
i mean fucking weird
no:
URL giveaway!
so I’m leaving tumblr and I’m so grateful for my followers I am going to leave behind my url. Must be following me, like and reblog this post and I will pick out the lucky winner at May 22nd 8pm GMT. Adiós
mowwwg:
“you can’t wear that!!!! people will get the wrong impression!!!”
the impression that i am a hot babe with an ass that just won’t quit???? honey that ain’t wrong that’s just fact
whores:
if we’re dating you’re allowed to touch my butt whenever you want
best-of-funny:
colorado-wannabe:
So in English class we had to draw a scene from The Great Gatsby. After the drawings were done the teacher was showing them to the class, and one drawing was a pic of Gatsby reaching towards at the green light, but in the drawing Gatsby didn’t have hands. So my teacher starts saying something like how this picture has hidden meaning and portrays the...
1 tag
lucifersblog:
d3florate:
psychoprism:
yoloween:
hail satan
rain satan
snow satan
tomorrow there is a 90% chance of precipisatan
it’ll be foggy in the morning, lots of condensatan
OK, when you guys get down here to hell, give the doorman your URLs and I’ll get you VIP treatment.
You guys are alright.
1 tag
lucifersblog:
twerkola:
twerkola:
my mom was just like “i just realized “devil” is evil with a d”
EVIL WITH A D
she still doesn’t realize why i was laughing so hard
I do.
1 tag
So this past week+ has been amazing
I met this dude from work, Luis Andres, i call him Andy. And so, he sends me this text one day before i have his number, all: “Hey, i got your number off the wall at work, i hope it’s not weird that i’m texting you like this.” i was just like, dude, this guy went out of his way to get my number, how flattering. So we discuss and hang out later that evening. We smoke weed,...
“I don’t trust people who don’t get high.”
– Alice Glass (via elizameth) 